Tales of a twenty-something

Does anyone know how to delete an LJ account, but keep the entries somewhere for posterity sake? Or is that impossible? I've decided that I'm spending too much time on LJ, Facebook, etc, and would like to spend more time on IRL interaction. I thought if I gave up my account, I'd be less likely to get sucked into LJ and the 'friends-locked' posts that skew towards high drama. I still want to keep up with friends spread far and wide, but I don't want to log into LJ everyday.

Thoughts?

My new home:

http://spontaneousity.blogspot.com/

This is mildly interesting, though certainly not news...

http://www.elle.com/featurefullstory/13908/walter-kirn-on-relationships-june-2008-elle.html

"That crooked nose. That untamed hair. The enormous appetite. The hottest girl in the room isn’t who you think. Why pretty isn’t (always) sexy."

I feel scatter brained and sick to my stomach. Life lessons. I've said it a million times, you don't learn anything without failing or making mistakes. Let's just say that I've learned a lot in the past year or two.

Saturday I'm going to try to sell all my possessions in anticipation of my move to Boston for summer study in urban planning. I've been in such a state of fear about the whole thing. What if I can't get rid of my stuff? What do I do with my car? How am I going to pay for the summer program? What do I do when its over, since my job didn't grant me a leave?

I can't worry about these things, it doesn't help. I'm going to get a massage after work.

So, I haven't posted in, oh, a good 4 months. What's been going on?

- I applied to Harvard GSD's Career Discovery Program. My chosen area of emphasis is urban planning, though architecture would be really fun too.

- Still in Los Angeles, still with same boyfriend.

- Initiated a practice called "Wacki Wednesdays" wherein every Wednesday after work, I do something I've never done before. Past adventures have included taking a boxing class, going to a comedy show at Acme theatre, and walking the 4.6 miles home from work, instead of driving.

- Considered taking stand up comedy classes. If I had more $$ and a clearer sense of where I'm going to be living after Harvard, I wouldn't think twice.

- Loved and hated LA all over again.

- Saw Iron Man.

- Took a trip up to Berkeley with boyfriend. Loved it. Realized I'm not a big city person. By big city, I mean only LA and NY. I'm sure Boston or Seattle would be fun.

- Felt old. I'm 26, so this doesn't bode well.

- Felt both happier and more focused than I have in months, while also feeling really sad at times.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Visit Arizona. Took a truly spontaneous roadtrip to Vegas on a Wednesday.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I kept my resolutions. I'll have to look back at them.

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
My cousin had a baby in February.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave the country.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A fun job and a deeper sense of purpose.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 20- My best friend's wedding.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Taking a drawing class.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Wasting too much time and energy worrying.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Food poisoned from mussels, and a yet to be resolved dental issue.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My Ikea bed and new bedding, and drawing supplies.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Friends.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

President Bush and Dick Cheney.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel, food, rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Christina's wedding.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

Rihanna, "Umbrella;" Soulja Boy, "Superman"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? About the same. Slightly more cynical.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same, I think.
iii. richer or poorer? About the same, I think.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Yoga. Cooking.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent it on a shuttle bus, then with my fam in Peoria.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Back in love, yes.

23. Any one-night stands?

No

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Didn't have one.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Not really.


26. What was the best book you read?

Middlesex by Jeffry Euginides.


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?


28. What did you want and get?

Quality time with old friends. A more interesting social life.


29. What did you want and not get?

A truly healthier lifestyle that includes regular yoga, meditation, and home cooked meals.

30. Favorite film of this year?
Michael Clayton

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I spent my 26th birthday (September 25) flying back to LA from Peoria, IL. Rob took me to Luna Park, where I had a burger and a couple fruity martinis.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A deeper sense of purpose and a more fulfilling job.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Tank tops and jeans, mostly, with some uncomfortable polyester stuff for the office.

34. What kept you sane?
The occasional run through Hancock Park. My move to a better neighborhood.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most

Dave Grohl

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Many issues seriously depressed and angered me. I'm not sure if the crisis in Darfur is a political issue or simply a moral one, but it was a big one. The war in Iraq.

37. Who do you miss?

Christina, Dan, my family, and friends flung across the globe.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Christina V. of LA.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:

Stop with the worrying already.

In honor of NaNoWriMo, I'm going to get myself in gear and do some things that are long overdue on my to-do list. Here they are, in no particular order (no, novel-writing is not one of them):

Participate in Critical Mass
Do a Habitat Saturday
Apply for that top-secret thing
Catch up on drawing class
Buy a drawing board
Sign up for gym so that I can walk to work and do yoga
Sort out dental issues (maybe change insurance)
Be in bed by 9:30 pm every night (this will do wonders for my mood and help me eat less)
Create a vision board
Establish a budget
Implement daily use of planner in order to stay on top of social committments and make better use of time (ie wandering around the mall after work is generally a poor use of time)
Stay positive!

I spent $160 on gas for the month of August. This is crazy. I think I'll be spending less now that I've moved (yes, yet again) closer to work. But still, I think I'm going to look into to taking the bus to work starting ASAP and continuing through the month of September.

I also spent $324098209420943 eating out during the month of August. What's happened to me? A year and a half ago I was a model saver. Now I'm kicking it paycheck to paycheck style.

I'm going to spend some time over my lunch break creating a workable budget.

The weekend is off to a great start. On Friday, I had a panic attack at work and ended up telling my boyfriend to head up to Berkeley without me. We had planned to spend the weekend up there, go to a football game, etc. But he wanted to leave by 3 pm; I was stuck at work until 6, with no idea how long I'd be there, so I just told them to go without me.

I got home and was so full of adrenaline and bad feelings (seriously) from my hellacious day that I went out for a walk. In totally non-LA style, I ran into to a former colleague headed out to have dinner. He invited me to join him, and that's where I made a big mistake.

I ordered mussels.

The next morning, hungover, and feeling guilty, I spent the morning having my digestive tract involuntarily turned inside out. Nothing like a prayer session to the porcelain gods to humble you. The dehydration from the 90+ degree heat combined with the 7 drinks I had the night before made the food poisoning even more dreadful. Once I got it all out of my system, I slept until 4 pm, managed to keep a Jones soda down and drink some water.

Spent hours on the phone catching up with my sisters, grandma, and Mom. Then listened to the Wicked soundtrack on loop, realized how much I love my boyfriend, read some of the Imagineering Workout - Exercises to Shape Your Creative Muscles and kicked back in front of the KTLA late night lineup: news, Sex and the City, Friends, and Will and Grace.

Felt great this morning. Its funny how a bout of food poisoning makes you appreciate not being sick.

Its been awhile since I last posted. I finally moved out of the apartment I'd been in for almost 3 years (!!!) 2 months ago. I ended up in a totally temporary shared room situation. That didn't quite work as expected, and I decided to stay in LA for another 6 months or so. I'm going to go up to Seattle to see some people this fall, and if I like it enough...

Meanwhile, I'm staying with my boyfriend. Yes, the one I almost broke up with, the one with whom I have a bit of a roller coaster relationship. He's in Hawaii right now on a family vacation. Its weird being in his apartment alone.

I've beome really interested in masssage therapy over the past couple months. I even took a short introductory class on massage techniques and have looked at courses leading to certification. Every state has its own method of certification-- some states like California leave it up to cities to regulate. In LA, you need 150 hours of training to be certified (but in all the non-LA cities in LA, it varies, up to 500 hours). As you can probably guess, there are tons of schools in this area to study massage. Some are probably scams. I'd love to study it at a community college, since the program would be affordable and reputable. So far I found one CA communtity college that offers massage therapy--its up towards Sacramento.

Ok, time to go look at apartments.

Things have been going well recently. I offer as evidence:

1) I got to see Christina, Stenny, and Chris last weekend in Phoenix. Fantastic!

2) I think I've lined things up so that I'll be moving back to IL at the beginning of June. I'm actually excited about it! Chi-town, baby.

3) I went to a cool art exhibit last night featuring some great live music with an old friend from my former, former job. She just quit her job and will be taking a 30 day trip around the US via Greyhound.

If only my headache would let up....

I've been out of work too long. I'm itching to be back in a cubicle, doing busy work and fantasizing about lunch or buying CDs. This is a good thing, as when I quit my last job, I was so, so burned out on working. My respite has been costly, but worth it.

I haven't posted much, despite oodles of free time. I wish I could say I've been doing yoga, cooking tasty elaborate cheap meals, and reading voraciously (all things I tend to neglect when working), but I haven't been doing these things as often as I feel I should. I haven't even kept up with my laundry this week. My diet has relied on 2 for $0.88 candy bars. Sometimes I wish there was rehab for chocolate addiction.

Cash flow situation is dire and R. and I had a testy conversation this morning about the prospect of me moving home and my rationale for doing so. The weekend was otherwise very pleasant despite the weird weather that seemed to make everyone in this city (myself included) feel uncomfortable. Some more so than others: I took a long walk yesterday because I wanted some exercise. I walked to Venice Beach and on my way there, very near the beach, a deranged homeless type on a bike comes tearing downhill on a side street perpendicular to the one I was walking down. He comes within an inch of crashing into me, shouting "Get out of my f---ing face, bitch!" Strange. So, I ended up wandering through the year round freakshow that is the Venice boardwalk with jangled nerves. By the time I got home I felt fine, though.

R. came over yesterday evening, we went to a local karaoke bar and he crashed here. We woke up this morning and went to a nice French joint near my apartment, browsed an art gallery, and parted company.

On the job front, I should hear something definitive about a job I actually, really, truly want on Monday. Or Tuesday. Or something. They're "waiting for approval." I feel like I'm waiting for Godot. Otherwise, there's an interview on Thursday, and tomorrow I'm going to do my damndest to get a stopgap gig in retail. Baby needs to finish her dental work and get the brakes on her car looked at.

Back again. Feeling decidely less "afraid" as gaping holes in mouth continue to heal nicely. Also, jazzed up the resume with fancy labeled headings. Have brainstormed some ideas for perking up and professionalizing future cover letters, too. As a last resort, I'm going to an open call interview tomorrow for on-call catering waitstaff. Also may investigate other service jobs, just as a interim solution to my dwindling bank account. I hate working with food (even food that I like), but I know its something that I can do, and ideally start working ASAP. Like before I leave for PIA on the 19th.

I randomly checked out apartments for rent in Peoria, and hot damn, is that an affordable rental market or what? Out here you're expected to pay first, last and a deposit (equal to at least a month's rent) upfront. Crap studios in boderline neighborhoods are $725, if you're lucky, so its 725 + 725 + 725= $2175 to get set up in a your own place, if you can pass the rather stringent credit checks. In P-town, I'm seeing ads for ONE BEDROOMS with REAL AMENITIES, RECENT KITCHENS, and *gasp* CLEAN CARPET for prices like $500/mo. and a $99 deposit on approved credit.

Ok, done with computer now. I actually made some job search progress today and I don't want to burn myself out.

Still haven't finished cleaning my room or car, yet. R. showed up a little early last night, we enjoyed a nice dinner in my part of town, then a movie and drink in his neighborhood. Slept in this morning, went out for lunch, bought groceries for the week, and took a short beach walk today.

Yawn.

Just winding down for the work week. I'm going to try to put together a mix CD for R. for Valentine's Day.

Here are songs I'm considering:

Muse- Apocalypse Please
Blur- Tender
Mark Lanegan- Sunrise

and a bunch of other stuff. But I may abandon the project entirely due to the cheesiness factor.

Here's what's up with me:

1) Endured soul-crushing, brutal hours at work this week. They don't show much sign of slowing down, either.

2) The floor in front of my passenger side front seat in my car looks like the debris after a Junk Food convention. If I remember correctly, there's an empty Coffee Bean mocha cup, Twizzler's wrapper, a small styrofoam Coldstone cup, and (and!) a Dairy Milk wrapper. No, I haven't cleaned my car in awhile, and yes, I react to working too hard by treating myself to ice cream and chocolate. Isn't that how adults deal with this stuff? ;)

3) Will be joining R. for a tasty Oaxacan meal at neighborhood restaurant this evening. I really want to drive to the beach for a quick walk, but I think he will be here relatively soon, and the sun is already starting to go down. Maybe I can persuade him to join me for a beach walk after dinner.

4) My one achievement today was a slightly too strenuous workout this morning, followed by a long, long, shower, removal of toe nail polish, hair blow drying, and much laying about, contemplating why I spend so much time surfing the internet, when I feel so pressed for time. I visit sites like TMZ.com, Gawker, etc., and each time, they take a piece of my soul. Seriously. I need to cut my intarweb time to only those sites that I can justify as educational. And social stuff, of course.

5) Will be coming home to Peoria, IL the last week of March. Looking forward to some down time!

Ok, I'm going to clean up my room (and car) now. Peace

Almost exactly one year ago, I went up to San Francisco for the first time. I flew there by myself, got a room at a cheap but charming hotel in North Beach, and spent two days exploring the city. I walked from Embarcadero to Fisherman's Wharf, took a bus through the Presidio and down to Haight Ashbury, wandered through the financial district, experienced the craziest cab ride ever, found Lombard street, snapped a dozen photos, and recentered myself after a harsh break up.

In what represents an example of things coming full-circle, I just returned from a weekend in SF. This time I spent the weekend with a charming male companion. We left Friday afternoon, and our flight got into SF around 7 or 8 pm. We took BART to our hotel in downtown. We Pricelined it, and ended up in a massive, erie, modernist business traveller joint. Hundreds of rooms, and plenty of exposed concrete, with a revolving lounge on the top floor.

We had dinner across the street at the Port of SF, which was recently redone to house a farmers' market, small fancy food joints, and one, big restaurant- The Slanted Door. The food was Cali-Vietnamese, served family style, and hella good. Our waiter chided us for "staying in the baby pool" because we only ordered a salad, noodle dish, and shrimp entree to share. We were planning on meeting R.'s friend J. for drinks later, so we wanted to save room for beer.

We took BART to the Mission District, met up with J., and ended up checking out a couple neighborhood bars. I had one drink the whole night- a double Barcadi diet coke, which hit me right away and made me loud and obnoxious. The guys assured me that I was being funny and charming. After they pounded a couple Irish Carbombs, we called it a night.

I woke up around six am because our hotel room was boiling hot. I adjusted the thermostat, and was drifting into sleep when the fire alarm went off. R. woke up, but before we had pulled ourselves together to evacuate, a voice came over the loudspeaker to let everyone know it was a false alarm.
We fell back asleep, woke up dehydrated, and finally made it out. We rented bikes, and rode over the Golden Gate Bridge and into Sausalito. Amazing! Sausalito was way too quaint and beautiful to be real. We stopped at a cafe and took a ferry back to SF. We returned the bikes, had a nap at the hotel, and freshened up for a fancy dinner at Da Flora (a small Italian restaurant in North Beach). I had a nice pasta with rapilini, garlic, and chiles and R. had a rich, fresh crab pasta. We splurged on a pricey wine and generally did the whole "muy romatico" thing. Tiramisu followed, and we returned to our hotel full and happy.

This morning, we woke up early to make the 9:00 AM service at Glide Memorial. If you're ever in SF on a Sunday, check out church services at Glide. I haven't been to church services in years, and I don't consider myself religious. The experience was powerful, and the message today was political. The mother of an Army lieutenant who is facing a court martial in a week for refusing deployment spoke about her son's case. I always get quesy when politics and religion share such a close space (even when I agree with the politics), but this totally appealed to my liberal, social justice Catholic religious foundation. I really enjoyed attending services at a chruch that welcomed everyone (even atheists!).

After the service, we went for lunch at a tacquiera, and headed back to the hotel to check out. We were back in LA by 5 pm, and had dinner in Culver City at Tender Greens. Check out the New York Times website: their list of top ten most emailed articles includes yet another feature on my hip and undiscovered backyard (Culver City). We took a short walk around CC after dinner, then R. dropped me off at home.

Weekends like this really leave me feeling refreshed and quite lucky. I live in an amazing part of the country, I have good company, and the resources to enjoy myself. Life is good.

Too long...

( Cut for memeiosity )

All in all, had a nice weekend. Not too much activity and not too much down time. Yesterday, I did 5 loads of laundry, hung out at home, and went to Los Feliz to spend some time with Rob. We had dinner together, then one drink at the rather disappointing Tangier (trendy bar/club that had been way too talked up, IMHO). We got bored really quickly, went home, and woke this morning to share breakfast and a TiVoed episode of the McLaughlin Group. Left Rob's and did some grocery shopping and had lunch by myself. Went to the gym this evening, then got a little excited and bought some music on i-Tunes \[Muse- Absolution, Mark Lanegan- Whiskey for the Holy Ghost, and 3 Morrissey songs ("Boxers, "Moon River", and "My Love Life")]. Is there anything so haunting as Morrissey covering Moon River? I don't think so. Gives me chills.

Peace out, folks. Time to wind down for the work week!